What to Expect During Your First EMDR Therapy Session — A Gentle and Supportive Guide (With Helpful Facts)

Starting therapy is a big and meaningful step—one that takes courage. If you’re thinking about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, you may be wondering how it works, what it will feel like, and whether it can help you. This is all completely natural.

In this gentle guide, we’ll explore what you can expect during your first EMDR therapy session, while also sharing some important facts about EMDR, so you can feel informed, empowered, and supported as you take this step toward healing.

1. Before We Begin: Meeting Your Therapist and Creating a Safe Space

Before any memory work begins, EMDR therapy focuses on safety, connection, and trust. This is the foundation of the healing process.

🌿 What to Expect:

  • Your first session is a conversation, not a deep dive into painful memories.

  • You'll have the chance to share what brought you to therapy and talk about what you hope to achieve.

  • Your therapist will explain what EMDR is, how it works, and answer any questions.

  • Together, you'll begin building a safe, trusting relationship, which is essential for trauma healing.

📖 Helpful Fact:

EMDR is recognized by leading organizations such as the American Psychological Association (APA) and the World Health Organization (WHO) as an effective treatment for trauma and PTSD.
(Sources: APA, WHO)

✨ Remember: You are always in control of what you share, and therapy moves at your pace.

2. Preparing for EMDR: Learning Tools to Feel Calm and Safe

Before working on difficult memories, EMDR therapy includes preparation and skill-building. This ensures that you have tools to feel grounded and supported.

🌸 What to Expect:

  • Your therapist will teach calming techniques, such as:

    • Breathing exercises to ease anxiety.

    • Safe place visualization, where you imagine a peaceful place to return to if things get intense.

    • Body awareness exercises to stay connected to the present.

  • You’ll practice "resource development"—identifying memories, people, or inner strengths that give you comfort.

  • These tools will be used throughout the EMDR process, as needed.

📖 Helpful Fact:

Research shows that having effective coping strategies in place before starting EMDR reduces the risk of overwhelm and increases success.
(Source: Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 2014)

🌷 Why It Matters: Feeling safe and grounded makes it possible to do deeper healing work without becoming overwhelmed.

3. Bilateral Stimulation: The Gentle Rhythms That Support Healing

A unique part of EMDR therapy is bilateral stimulation (BLS)—gentle, rhythmic movements that help your brain process stuck memories.

🌀 What to Expect:

  • You may follow your therapist’s fingers with your eyes, listen to alternating tones, or feel gentle taps.

  • The therapist will guide and explain this process, finding a method that feels comfortable for you.

  • You’ll practice BLS before any memory work starts, so you feel familiar with it.

📖 Helpful Fact:

Bilateral stimulation activates both sides of the brain, helping to "unstick" traumatic memories and allowing natural healing processes to resume.
(Source: Shapiro, 2001, developer of EMDR)

🌼 Why It’s Helpful: BLS calms the nervous system and supports the brain’s natural way of processing experiences.

4. Choosing a Memory to Work On: Always at Your Own Pace

When you feel ready, you and your therapist will choose a memory to start working on together. You are always in charge of this choice.

🌻 What to Expect:

  • Your therapist will help you identify a memory that feels manageable.

  • You’ll explore:

    • Images, feelings, and body sensations connected to the memory.

    • Negative beliefs you may have carried (e.g., "I'm not good enough").

    • Positive beliefs you want to replace them with (e.g., "I am strong now").

  • You’ll also talk about how distressing the memory feels today—a scale is often used to measure this.

📖 Helpful Fact:

Studies show that EMDR helps people reduce emotional distress tied to traumatic memories, often in fewer sessions than traditional talk therapy.
(Source: Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 2017)

🌸 Why This Matters: Processing memories gently and with support helps you release pain and rebuild inner strength.

5. The Reprocessing Phase: Healing, One Step at a Time

During reprocessing, you’ll focus on the memory while using bilateral stimulation. Your therapist will guide you through this gently.

🌊 What to Expect:

  • You’ll focus on the chosen memory and associated feelings while following the BLS.

  • After each set, your therapist will ask what you notice now—you can share as much or as little as you want.

  • As the session goes on, your feelings about the memory may shift, soften, or change, often bringing relief or new perspectives.

  • You’ll be reminded of your calming tools if anything feels too intense.

📖 Helpful Fact:

Multiple studies confirm that EMDR significantly reduces symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression in survivors of trauma.
(Sources: Cochrane Review, 2013; National Institute for Health and Care Excellence - NICE)

🌿 Why It’s Healing: EMDR helps "unstick" painful memories so they no longer feel like they're happening "right now."

6. After EMDR: Gentle Self-Care and Reflection

Healing work can sometimes bring up tender feelings, so caring for yourself after a session is important.

🍃 What to Expect:

  • You and your therapist will take time to re-ground and soothe before ending each session.

  • You may be encouraged to:

    • Journal or write down thoughts that arise.

    • Use breathing or calming techniques between sessions.

    • Engage in comforting activities like nature walks, soft music, or connecting with supportive people.

  • It's normal for dreams, memories, or new insights to appear between sessions—this is part of the brain’s healing process.

📖 Helpful Fact:

According to EMDR research, processing continues between sessions, and clients often report feeling lighter, less reactive, and more at peace over time.
(Source: Shapiro, 2001)

💛 Remember: Healing is a process. Your body and mind are working hard, and you deserve care and kindness along the way.

7. How Long Does EMDR Therapy Take?

Everyone’s healing journey is unique. Some people see big changes in a few sessions, while others need more time—both are okay.

🌷 What to Expect:

  • Some people experience relief in 6 to 12 sessions, especially when focusing on a specific trauma.

  • Complex or long-term trauma (like childhood trauma) may take longer—up to several months or more.

  • Your therapist will regularly check in about how you’re feeling and how the therapy is going.

📖 Helpful Fact:

A review of studies found that EMDR is often faster than traditional therapy for trauma, but the pace always depends on individual needs.
(Source: World Health Organization, 2013)

🌼 Gentle Reminder: There’s no "right" timeline. Healing happens at your pace.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone on This Journey

Choosing EMDR therapy is a brave and compassionate choice. You don’t have to face this alone—there is real help, real healing, and real hope.

💫 Remember:

  • You are in control of your healing.

  • Your therapist is there to support you without judgment.

It’s okay to go slow. Every step you take matters.

Benjamin Kelley